The oddity of waiting

Photo by Jordan Benton on

There is something strikingly strange about the anticipation of talking to someone.
I’m not talking about anxiousness about talking in general, social anxiety or a fear of confrontation. I’m referring to the feeling of knowing you want to talk to someone, but you just haven’t had the opportunity yet.
I’ve experienced this a couple times in the last week – I’ve wanted to ask people for advice but for various reasons I’ve found myself needing to wait a significant amount of time for an opportunity.

It’s been a very peculiar feeling. This kind of waiting is not uncomfortable for me, but it really occupies my mental space. When I’m alone, I find it hard to think about much else other than what I want to talk about. I couldn’t even write this post until I had spoken to the people I wanted to – I couldn’t take it off my mind.

My thoughts dance around phrases and words, imagining how things might pan out and responses I may hear. It’s a peaceful riot because it stays in my head. When words eventually come tumbling out, there is relief and excitement in finally getting a reaction.

And then it’s all over. The concerns are expressed, questions are asked and answered and advice is offered. And we can move on.

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