Zoom and enhance features of the present

blurry aviva

For me, anything and everything remotely negative seems like such a big deal at the time. Any problem I’m having or anticipating having seems enormous in front of me. However, time and time again, whenever I finally start a task I’ve been putting off or finish dealing with a problem, it magically shrinks! It’s almost always less work than I feared, easier than I thought and I end up kicking myself for not just getting on with it earlier. I can get myself in a tizzy about something, get all emotional and irrational, fall asleep worrying about things that at the time seem reasonable, but then I wake up and it suddenly wasn’t even a big deal. It’s like tears in my eyes literally magnify the bad things I can see, but once some time has passed, I can see clearly again and those monumental problems now seem like nothing and I wonder why I was making such a big deal.

I don’t know if all of this is because I tend to exaggerate things or I just feel things very intensely and it takes the gift of hindsight for me to see things as they actually are, but I get so worked up about some tasks that I make them harder than I need to be. Applying for University took me weeks because I dreaded doing it for fear of making a mistake. But when I finally sat down to just get it done, I found it took less than two hours and the process was relatively simple.

So many tasks in my life seem so overwhelming, time consuming and difficult to me, however when I sit down to finally do them they are so much easier than I was afraid of. Applying for work, writing assignments, studying for tests, sending emails, making phone calls. These little tasks get built up in my head and I turn them into big scary jobs. And every time I put off a job, I make the anticipation of the horror worse! I didn’t think I was scared of challenges or doing hard work, but maybe I am. At least now I realise how I magnify problems in my mind, I can be aware of it and work to overrule the thoughts in my head that tell me silly things that aren’t true.

I create problems for myself by magnifying little details and getting overwhelmed, and this manifests itself in unhealthy ways. I seem to have zoom and enhance goggles on whenever I am faced with a task, and I can’t take them off until I start.

So while I don’t mean to undermine your doubts or fears, just be aware that part of it can be in your head, as it often is in mine. Take a deep breath, and make a start on whatever you’re scared of. A lot of the time, just making a start will prove it wasn’t as bad as you had worried. Look at the problem critically and rationally, break it down into little pieces if need be and just start somewhere. Try not to let your mind get fixed on details and blow them out of proportion, just see them for what they are.


Stay safe,


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